Tag Archives: Doktor Zoom

Mitt Romney Explains Where Obama Went Wrong (Hint: It Is ‘Everywhere’)

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via Mitt Romney Explains Where Obama Went Wrong (Hint: It Is ‘Everywhere’).

LET’S GO DO SOME CRIMEA 1:30 pm March 18, 2014

Mitt Romney Explains Where Obama Went Wrong (Hint: It Is ‘Everywhere’)

by Doktor Zoom

We need a leader who instills respect in his foesIt sure is a good thing that politics stops at the water’s edge, because otherwise this Mitt Romney pouting in the Wall Street Journal sure would be controversial, since basically he tells America that we really screwed up bad by choosing such a terrible president who is decidedly not Mitt Romney. You see, were it not for all of Barack Obama’s manifest failures to do things much differently, the world would be a pretty nice place, but as it is, everything that foreign countries have done is the result of Barry Bamz being a big weakling. Also, Hillary Clinton, too. Romney laments that there are “no good options” on a whole bunch of international issues, like Crimea of course, but also Afghanistan and Iraq and Iran and North Korea, all of which Obama really screwed up on, leaving America with its hands tied:

A large part of the answer is our leader’s terrible timing. In virtually every foreign-affairs crisis we have faced these past five years, there was a point when America had good choices and good options. There was a juncture when America had the potential to influence events. But we failed to act at the propitious point; that moment having passed, we were left without acceptable options.

Fittingly, the column was published on a Monday night; you sort of imagine Mitt in a helmet and shoulder pads, calling plays into the past. Because if you look at history, it’s clear that America can always make other countries do exactly what America wants when we have a good leader who does the right thing, as proven by that quote from Shakespeare about how you gotta catch the tide just right and ride it, because Charlie don’t surf.

First off, on Ukraine, Barry totally failed to recognize the possibility that Putin would invade Crimea, even though it should have been obvious once the government started responding violently to the protests:

That was the time to talk with our global allies about punishments and sanctions, to secure their solidarity, and to communicate these to the Russian president. These steps, plus assurances that we would not exclude Russia from its base in Sevastopol or threaten its influence in Kiev, might have dissuaded him from invasion.

Which is a pretty good backwards psychic prediction, because it doesn’t need to account for pesky details like the fact that shortly before the Ukrainian government started shooting protesters, it was looking like it was going to negotiate with them instead, and then that government fell almost as suddenly as it started killing people. But yes, had Obama just seen the situation with the clarity of a month later, he should have warned Putin, and we all know how Putin listens to other leaders.

Similarly, when protests in Syria first started to turn into a revolt against Bashar Assad, Mitt tells us that

the time was ripe for us to bring together moderate leaders who would have been easy enough for us to identify, to assure the Alawites that they would have a future post-Assad, and to see that the rebels were well armed.

Why, yes, all you have to do is look at the headlines from three years ago, when they all said “Good Guys In Syria Easy to Identify” — and when the administration sought to work with the moderate rebels, there certainly weren’t any teabaggers like Michele Bachmann screaming that the Arab Spring was just a cover for al Qaeda trying to take over everything.

And so on — in one foreign situation after another, Mitt Romney finds the perfect moment where Barack Obama was asleep at the switch again. Really, he should go back in time and fix stuff, but he refuses to because he is Weak. But has anything worked out for poor feckless Barack? Heck no, because he failed to bully the world into fearing America the way he should have:

President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton traveled the world in pursuit of their promise to reset relations and to build friendships across the globe. Their failure has been painfully evident: It is hard to name even a single country that has more respect and admiration for America today than when President Obama took office, and now Russia is in Ukraine.

Because god knows, we were so very, very admired and respected under the able leadership of George W. Bush.

[WSJ]

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Young Neidermeyers

TUNE IN TURN ON DERP OUT  2:14 pm March 16, 2014

by Doktor Zoom

Fine, there's your sideboob.Hope you filthy hippies are ready to get a good talking-to about your drugs and your communism and your satanic rock music, because this week it’s time to get a dose of revisionist history of the 1960s, courtesy of our textbooks for the Christian homeschooling market. Our 8th-grade text, America: Land I Love (A Beka, 1994, 2006), has no doubts about just what a terrible time the decade was, and why:

By the early 1960s, the teachings of humanist philosopher John Dewey, the father of progressive education, had permeated public education. Dewey was a leader in the secular humanist movement, which put man in place of or above God. Moral absolutes, such as those once taught in the McGuffey Readers, were replaced by humanistic ideas such as encouraging children to “follow their animal instincts” and to practice permissive “self expression” in the classroom…

As “progressive” educators removed godly values from the classroom, America’s youth became ripe for the spirit of rebellion that moved across the nation in the late 1960s, opening the door to drug abuse and sexual immorality. As discipline, dress codes, and moral standards relaxed in the public school systems, test scores continued to decline. Rock music began to influence American culture through such popular musicians as Elvis Presley.

In other words, this chapter of Land I Love is pretty much a grab bag of rightwing culture war complaints about the ’60s. Our other text, Bob Jones University Press’s 11/12th-grade United States History for Christian Schools (2001), is slightly less panicked in tone — as usual, it makes fewer sweeping claims about why everything went to hell — but nonetheless titles its chapter on 1963-73 “The Shattered Society” and emphasizes that America just barely avoided utter dissolution in that decade.

U.S. History takes a fairly conventional take on the ’60s, noting the social and political upheavals and sadly shaking its head in disappointment:

As he reviewed the dramatically widespread unrest in the United States, one California newspaper editor lamented, “We just seem to be headed toward a collapse of everything.”

In the midst of apparent chaos, many Americans looked to their political leaders for guidance — and deliverance. The presidents during this era were two of the shrewdest, most experienced politicians in America, Democrat Lyndon B. Johnson and Republican Richard M. Nixon. Yet both found that America’s problems defied their efforts to solve them.

Obviously, Land I Love is going to be a lot more fun this week.

The greatest disaster of the ’60s, according to Land I Love, was America’s public abandonment of God, as forced by the ACLU and just one very bad woman:

In 1962, the Supreme Court removed prayer from public schools, and in 1963, it banned Bible reading from the public schools. These decisions came about largely through the efforts of Madalyn Murray O’Hair, an atheist and Communist who used her teenage son, William, to protest daily Bible reading and prayer in the public schools of Baltimore, Maryland. A liberal Supreme Court ruled that even voluntary Bible reading and prayer were unconstitutional because they “discriminated against” non-Christians.

Of course, this leaves out a couple of details, largely around how you define “voluntary” — it’s perfectly legal, of course, for kids to read the Bible and pray on their own time; the decisions only barred school-organized devotions that kids could “volunteer” to not participate in. For its part, U.S. History simply says that the 1962 Engel v. Vitale decision “banned state-sponsored prayers in public schools as a so-called violation of the First Amendment’s guarantee of the separation of church and state”; while the Bob Jones editors clearly disagree, they don’t bother personalizing the issue as the whim of one cranky atheist commie. Land I Love even devotes a full paragraph to O’Hair’s son, William Murray, and his conversion to Christianity and 1980 “apology” to America

for his role in the removal of Bible reading and prayer from the public schools. He said that his mother had brainwashed him into accepting atheism and Communism, but after years of misery and despair, he had found faith in God. Now he prayed that God might somehow use his testimony to bring prayer back into the classroom.

God, sadly, has continued to slack off on fixing this for the past 34 years, probably because He has been busy helping with all those high school football games. In any case, those clearly illegal Supreme Court decisions were utterly at odds with the True Meaning of the Constitution:

The Founding Fathers who wrote the Constitution had great respect for both prayer and God’s Word. It was because of our Christian heritage that most schools had included prayer and Bible reading in their daily routines for years. The Supreme Court interpreted the Constitution in a way that its writers would not have agreed with.

U.S. History doesn’t attempt to claim that the Founders wanted prayer in schools, but includes the prayer decision as part of a larger discussion of “judicial activism,” which is of course bad, since it expanded the rights of accused criminals and “defined ‘obscenity’ so narrowly that [Roth v. United States (1957)] actually struck down many obscenity laws.” The textbook approvingly quotes Justice John Harlan’s 1964 dissenting opinion that

The Constitution is not a panacea for every blot upon the public welfare, nor should this Court, ordained as a judicial body, be thought of as a general haven for reform movements … This Court … does not serve its high purpose, when it exceeds its authority even to satisfy justified impatience with the slow workings of the political process.

With a resigned sigh, the editors add, “Unfortunately, the majority of Harlan’s associates did not listen to him.”

To emphasize that all these terrible changes were imposed upon a majority of Americans who didn’t want them, Land I Love includes a paragraph explaining that, along with Madalyn Murray O’Hair, there was another bunch of troublemakers to blame:

Since the 1920s, a group of lawyers known as the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) had actively defended the extreme views of atheist, socialist, and Communist minorities. In the 1960s, the ACLU began to use the courts to force local communities to stop making references to Biblical values in public life. They claimed that the U.S. Constitution established a “wall of separation” between church and state. Later the ACLU would have bronze copies of the Ten Commandments removed from walls in schools, village halls, and county court houses, and some communities would be forced to ban public Christmas displays featuring the birth of Jesus. The ACLU would also later defend public displays of pornography as an expression of the First Amendment right to free speech.

Because lord knows, there’s nothing in the Constitution about minorities having rights that the majority has to respect. We’re sort of wondering about those “public displays of pornography,” which seem to have fallen out of favor — either that, or, more likely, the editors consider just about every PG-rated movie a public display of pornography.

Now, where are the hippies in all this? Ha-ha, we were joking you with that photo up there — we’ll get to the filthy hippies next time, because we have written our thousand words for this week, and suddenly we are run over by eleven long-haired friends of Jesus in a chartreuse microbus.

Next Week: The Great Society makes everybody addicted to Big Government. Also, hippies.

Read more at http://wonkette.com/544229/sundays-with-the-christianists-american-history-textbooks-for-young-neidermeyers#gp2AR0EovKv4I7TL.99

Michele Bachmann So Disappointed American Jews Don’t Recognize That Obama Is The Antichrist

Michele Bachmann So Disappointed American Jews Don’t Recognize That Obama Is The Antichrist.

RAPTURE OF THE DERP  9:22 am March 5, 2014

Michele Bachmann So Disappointed American Jews Don’t Recognize That Obama Is The Antichrist

by Doktor Zoom

Image from 'Jewlicious.com'Like a lot of your rightwing fundagelicals, Michele Bachmann is a big believer in the old Chick tract “Support Your Local Jew,” so she knows that the most important country in the world, next to maybe America, is Israel, because that’s where Jesus will come to end the world. And so if Israel is unhappy about an American policy, that’s not just international politics, that’s an affront to God. Which explains why ol’ Crazy Eyes is especially ticked at American Jews for not recognizing the self-evident truth that Barack Obama is bad for the Jews. You see, Obama went and reached a preliminary nuclear deal with Iran, and then he went and manage to convince Congress not to vote for any new sanctions on Iran while negotiators try to reach a permanent deal. This did not sit well with Michele Bachmann, protector of Israel — in fact, it’s a chaleria that so many Jews voted for the gonif.

And so she shared her feelings with another Christian who loves Israel more than lousy American Jews do, the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, telling him all about how the Chosen People chose the wrong person:

The Jewish community gave him their votes, their support, their financial support and as recently as last week, forty-eight Jewish donors who are big contributors to the president wrote a letter to the Democrat [sic] senators in the US Senate to tell them to not advance sanctions against Iran. This is clearly against Israel’s best interest. What has been shocking has been seeing and observing Jewish organizations who it appears have made it their priority to support the political priority and the political ambitions of the president over the best interests of Israel. They sold out Israel.

Jews can be kind of dumb that way, failing to recognize for themselves that the Obama administration is full of secret Muslims. What’s worse, Obama is actually “threatening Israel” by supporting a two0-state approach to Palestinian-Israeli peace talks, which absolutely no one in Israel supports, except for the majority of Israelis. But that’s only because they don’t understand the important role they are destined to play in the End Times — 2/3 of them will be wiped out, and then when Jesus comes back the survivors will convert, yay!

Strangely, Bachmann’s disappointment doesn’t seem to be resonating with American Jews — at least not yet. We bet she just needs to give them some comics with a simple-to-understand message, and they’ll come right around.

[RightWingWatch via TPM / Image modified from pic at Jewlicious.com]

Read more at http://wonkette.com/543190/michele-bachmann-so-disappointed-american-jews-dont-recognize-that-obama-is-the-antichrist#M4DZkaKu5GM2podp.99

RAPTURE OF THE DERP  9:22 am March 5, 2014

Michele Bachmann So Disappointed American Jews Don’t Recognize That Obama Is The Antichrist

by Doktor Zoom

Image from 'Jewlicious.com'Like a lot of your rightwing fundagelicals, Michele Bachmann is a big believer in the old Chick tract “Support Your Local Jew,” so she knows that the most important country in the world, next to maybe America, is Israel, because that’s where Jesus will come to end the world. And so if Israel is unhappy about an American policy, that’s not just international politics, that’s an affront to God. Which explains why ol’ Crazy Eyes is especially ticked at American Jews for not recognizing the self-evident truth that Barack Obama is bad for the Jews. You see, Obama went and reached a preliminary nuclear deal with Iran, and then he went and manage to convince Congress not to vote for any new sanctions on Iran while negotiators try to reach a permanent deal. This did not sit well with Michele Bachmann, protector of Israel — in fact, it’s a chaleria that so many Jews voted for the gonif.

And so she shared her feelings with another Christian who loves Israel more than lousy American Jews do, the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, telling him all about how the Chosen People chose the wrong person:

The Jewish community gave him their votes, their support, their financial support and as recently as last week, forty-eight Jewish donors who are big contributors to the president wrote a letter to the Democrat [sic] senators in the US Senate to tell them to not advance sanctions against Iran. This is clearly against Israel’s best interest. What has been shocking has been seeing and observing Jewish organizations who it appears have made it their priority to support the political priority and the political ambitions of the president over the best interests of Israel. They sold out Israel.

Jews can be kind of dumb that way, failing to recognize for themselves that the Obama administration is full of secret Muslims. What’s worse, Obama is actually “threatening Israel” by supporting a two0-state approach to Palestinian-Israeli peace talks, which absolutely no one in Israel supports, except for the majority of Israelis. But that’s only because they don’t understand the important role they are destined to play in the End Times — 2/3 of them will be wiped out, and then when Jesus comes back the survivors will convert, yay!

Strangely, Bachmann’s disappointment doesn’t seem to be resonating with American Jews — at least not yet. We bet she just needs to give them some comics with a simple-to-understand message, and they’ll come right around.

[RightWingWatch via TPM / Image modified from pic at Jewlicious.com]

Read more at http://wonkette.com/543190/michele-bachmann-so-disappointed-american-jews-dont-recognize-that-obama-is-the-antichrist#M4DZkaKu5GM2podp.99

RAPTURE OF THE DERP  9:22 am March 5, 2014

Michele Bachmann So Disappointed American Jews Don’t Recognize That Obama Is The Antichrist

by Doktor Zoom

Image from 'Jewlicious.com'Like a lot of your rightwing fundagelicals, Michele Bachmann is a big believer in the old Chick tract “Support Your Local Jew,” so she knows that the most important country in the world, next to maybe America, is Israel, because that’s where Jesus will come to end the world. And so if Israel is unhappy about an American policy, that’s not just international politics, that’s an affront to God. Which explains why ol’ Crazy Eyes is especially ticked at American Jews for not recognizing the self-evident truth that Barack Obama is bad for the Jews. You see, Obama went and reached a preliminary nuclear deal with Iran, and then he went and manage to convince Congress not to vote for any new sanctions on Iran while negotiators try to reach a permanent deal. This did not sit well with Michele Bachmann, protector of Israel — in fact, it’s a chaleria that so many Jews voted for the gonif.

And so she shared her feelings with another Christian who loves Israel more than lousy American Jews do, the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, telling him all about how the Chosen People chose the wrong person:

The Jewish community gave him their votes, their support, their financial support and as recently as last week, forty-eight Jewish donors who are big contributors to the president wrote a letter to the Democrat [sic] senators in the US Senate to tell them to not advance sanctions against Iran. This is clearly against Israel’s best interest. What has been shocking has been seeing and observing Jewish organizations who it appears have made it their priority to support the political priority and the political ambitions of the president over the best interests of Israel. They sold out Israel.

Jews can be kind of dumb that way, failing to recognize for themselves that the Obama administration is full of secret Muslims. What’s worse, Obama is actually “threatening Israel” by supporting a two0-state approach to Palestinian-Israeli peace talks, which absolutely no one in Israel supports, except for the majority of Israelis. But that’s only because they don’t understand the important role they are destined to play in the End Times — 2/3 of them will be wiped out, and then when Jesus comes back the survivors will convert, yay!

Strangely, Bachmann’s disappointment doesn’t seem to be resonating with American Jews — at least not yet. We bet she just needs to give them some comics with a simple-to-understand message, and they’ll come right around.

[RightWingWatch via TPM / Image modified from pic at Jewlicious.com]

Read more at http://wonkette.com/543190/michele-bachmann-so-disappointed-american-jews-dont-recognize-that-obama-is-the-antichrist#M4DZkaKu5GM2podp.99